Do Aliens Poo?

I recently attended a very fine talk by the author and public speaker, Suzy Hansen (See http://www.communicatorlink.com/about.php). For those not in-the-know, Suzy is an “experiencer” (someone that has had direct contact with aliens). New Zealand has them too, yay! With a growing reputation as an authority on the Zeta beings, I can vouch she is the real McCoy. Instead of spouting the usual crap, you know, talking about meditation and stuff humans need to do to improve per “exalted wisdom” of the Zeta, she got straight to the point. Somewhere about the middle of her recantations, she broached the uncomfortable subject of “human bobbly bits” (her words). We all know what they are and those strange mating rituals they are used for, but what of “aliens”? Aren’t they all “smooth” down there?

“Check under the left armpit”, Suzy chirped stridently. Only joking! The void that began her sensitive investigation remained unruffled, but it got me thinking. As readers of my other blog (See http://ozziethinker.wordpress.com) know; when I think things start to get hairy.

Before I forget, I do recommend you seek out and purchase Suzy’s excellent book “The Dual Soul Connection: The Alien Agenda for Human Advancement” (a project of many years from inception). I paid (yes, I did BUY a copy) for mine at the event and, on balance, it’s a cracker.

Where was I?

Ah yes, thinking of strange quixotic methods of reproduction (or do some of these beings, God forbid, have sex for fun?), I then thought, but what about poo? Imagine it. A Light Being discretely makes himself known to you – drum roll, grand entrance, missing time, you know the full deal. So, he’s there in front of you and…..Hang on? He’s looking a bit queasy. Well this is a bit embarrassing. Telepathically he says, “Do you have a rest room?” You see these Light Beings are polite and most of them can’t talk as far as I am aware. They wouldn’t say, “I’ve been on the road for a thousand years and I need to take a giant dump”, telepathically, of course.

We all know the Queen’s doesn’t smell. That’s a well-publicised fact, but what about the Nicolathesian worm Ambassador of Gradui Ilflampi?

Another thought came to me, largely inspired by my other blog. Humans, for instance, produce invisible poo that comes out of their mouths and this is the worst smelling of all types. The inquisitive mind would wonder whether alien hierarchies have the same issue.

The whole “poo” thing goes both ways. Let’s imagine for a second that I am about to be abducted by the strange Terigal beings from Alpha Banga. They smother me with love and are about to click the magic switch when I exclaim, “I just need a pee first”.

Let’s face it I am not going to go up to a craft with a full bladder at 2am. I might be there for hours.

“Hold that order, Festu, the guy needs to pee”

“Pee?”

“It’s something those human’s do”

“Oh, ok, but we’re running a tight schedule today. How long will it take?”

Or do I say I’ll just hold it in?

Sorry to inconvenience you and all that, I must master these “lower vibrational” body functions. Shush, some people, hey?

I am on the ship now. Do they have loos? And if they do, are they like regular loos? I remember reading about Rosemary Klem’s (See http://zodbooks.com.au/about/) & Jack Lord’s [supposed] Atlantis civilisation underwater. After dinner, all the plates, utensils and so on just disintegrate. Is that what happen to a toilet after use? Poof – it’s gone? Well if that’s case; what if there’s a miscue and the toilet disintegrates before the business is done? What then, eh? Is there a “back up” plan? How many times does our infallible technology go wrong? And I don’t know what it is, but it always seems to break down just at the wrong time – like, when you’re crouched over the John! Ah well, who says “God” doesn’t have a good sense of humour?

Back to those aliens again and my special guest Light Being – the one with the dicky tummy; let’s say he does discretely have a poo. For us, could it be used as a magic cure, or food? You see there is a South American bat (ok, for the brainboxes, it an Asiatic cat. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civet) that produces guano (poo) which is collected, dried and used to serve a very special cup of coffee with a distinctive “nutty flavour” (See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxD2VmZiLJ0). At a $100 a cup it better be good for you!

We tend to think about poo negatively, but all the good stuff grows in it: veggies, plants, pigs. One of the things I have observed over the years is, maybe, all these aliens have recognised just how uptight we humans, in general, are. We all need to take a chill pill and laugh a little (at ourselves). Mind you, I have never been abducted by aliens of any persuasion and that’s perhaps because they know the first thing that I would ask is,

“Do aliens poo?”